i have a MAJOR face sweating problem

so the other night i was walking with some girlfriends from their apartment to a bar (maybe a total of three blocks) and whenever i get nervous, or i have my first drink of the night, or i exert the ever so smallest amount of energy-- my face just goes on extreme overload and i start pouring sweat ...DRI-PPING beads of sweat! ***this is a MAJOR problem for me considering that i spend a good portion of my life getting nervous and/or drinking (not so much the exerting of the energy but you catch my drift...) 

I AM NOT EXAGGERATING! i really wish i was, but you can ask anyone who knows me...it's bad! i remember i was getting ready to go on a first date with this guy and I was so nervous and my mom and her friends were all gathered around the kitchen table while i had one woman holding a bag of peas on the back of my neck, a bag of frozen berries in between my legs, and i was standing in front of the freezer right up until he came to pick me up. 

people literally will approach me and say things like, "ohhh you are sweating really bad! "  "are you ok? what's wrong with you?" or my personal favorite, "why are you sweating?"   WHYYY am i sweating? oh, i don't know i just LOVE how half of my make-up runs down my face and i have to literally use an entire box of toilet seat covers to blot my face in the bathroom for half an hour before i'm able to even LOOK at another person, only to take a quick glance in the mirror and notice that i have pieces of napkin stuck to my face from when i was wiping it down earlier, and my FAVORITE thing is when i'm talking to a guy i kind of like and i am sweating, then thinking about my sweating which causes me to stress and sweat even more. It's right up there with smoking a cigarette and talking to a guy then blowing the smoke right in your eye, causing tears to well up making you look like the biggest dork for actually trying to look cool while smoking. But even that fiasco is WAY better then sweating...you can actually laugh with the guy about what a dork you are.  you CANNOT laugh about being a sweaty beast. NOT cute. 

i've tried everything!  I've purchased oil absorbent lotion that i apply daily, i have those portable oil blotting sheets, i've even come up with casual ways to swipe my hand across my sweaty face. you know ... i'm laughing and i just happen to put my hand to my forehead trying desperately to play a game of "mop up the sweat on your face tanya! you disgusting sweaty bitch!"  good god it is really putting a damper on things. maybe i'll get some of those shots that whitney houston had injected in her face to help with her sweating.  maybe.