Pillow Talk

There is a reason that phrase was coined in the first place.... 'pillow talk'  is meant to take place while you are in a bed near some PILLOWS. Talking dirty and all other kinds of wonderful expressions of your sexual freedom that you do on your own time is PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE when you are actually in the moment of doing any of these things: literally having sex, phone sex, "sex"-ting, AIM sex, and any other kinds of sex that I can't think of, but would be most curious to learn about.  I mean WHEN did it become ok for guys to say the most heinous inappropriate things to a woman in person or over a text when we did not warrant ANY flirtation of that nature in the first place. Is this maybe because we call each other hoes and sluts all the time, and the men are taking that LITERALLY?! Apparently i didn't get the memo that women just love to be told dirty sexual things in person and be completely caught off guard. Let me please point out that it is NEVER ok for a guy to say overt, sexual things to a woman IN PERSON, over a text, on her FACEBOOK WALL, or in an inbox of any sort. No matter how much the girl is flirting and being all cute and touchy and maybe even a little sexy...you must remember to keep it at that. Subtlety is the key. The whole point of flirting is that we get totally into it because it's mysterious and we are constantly on our toes always guessing...does he like me? etc. But if the guy decides to put it out there and actually talk about licking or sucking ANYTHING all romance and mystery goes RIGHT out the window! There's no way to take back what you said.... we are left with just dirty words on repeat inside our head playing over and over. It really comes down to taking things one step too far. Being a tad bit TOO literal. You could be walking a very fine line... then BOOM you've said too much. These things are what I assumed were common knowledge but apparently not. To illustrate my point further let's do a few 'good idea / bad idea' scenarios, shall we?   Good idea: You look great tonight! --  Bad Idea: I just really want to suck on your titties. Good idea: It's cold out and I wish you were here to keep me warm --   Bad Idea: If you were here, I would be deep inside you.  See? Literal = not attractive, and borderline creepy actually.  

This got me thinking... in the '50's or something I could never picture a gentleman actually saying anything like that to a lady at some dinner party. I mean sure all of those guys were constantly harassing women at work, and I've heard the Rat Pack were a bunch of real dirty dogs... But i'm pretty sure they kept it subtle. Maybe someone like Don Draper or Roger Sterling would have said something like, "God I would love to see what you have going on under there..."  (and by the way both Jon Hamm and John Slattery are free to say whatever the hell they want to me.... none of the above applies to either of those GORGEOUS men)  But again, they would probably have the class and respect for a woman to maybe not go into such graphic details whilst flirting. 

The moral of the story my friends is that you should very RARELY say anything too graphic and disgusting about a woman's body and what you want to do with it,  but if you do decide to engage in some sort of flirtatious banter with a lady, remember, sweet little subtle conversations will work like a charm.  And I like to talk dirty as much as the next girl, but let's keep it between the sheets, near some pillows.