marilyn vs. doris

someone once told me that men want to sleep with marilyn monroe but wake up next to doris day. i guess its the whole madonna/whore situation thing but when is being fun, flirty (and maybe a little promiscuous) too much? or, more importantly, when does it hinder you from actually finding true love. have i totally exhausted all my possibilities because of some ridiculous profile on facebook that im constantly updating with comments like "drinking and fucking tonight, and not necessarily in that order." life just seems funnier when you are embellishing the truth. sometimes (most times) i'm not actually drinking when i say that i'm drinking, and for that matter i'm certainly not sleeping around with half of los angeles or orange county. it's similar to the phrase "...and then i found 5 dollars" after someone says a boring story. for me, i like to say, "aaaaaaand i may have been drunk" see? funny! that's the key to interesting and good writing, so it only seems fitting that i do that on my blog as well. none of this is actually TRUE or rrrreeeaaallly me down to my core. the vulnerable good-hearted person that i am--that would be BORR-INNG! but then i start to worry when i asked a friend of mine if i'm 'girlfriend material' and he says, "well maybe if you didn't write things like "i need a roommate, help! i'll open my legs if you open the door..." i'm abruptly reminded that my reputation might actually preceed me. but that's my humor and as much as i love my ability to self-depricate or embellish my drinking and sex life... when is it too over the top? am i actually phasing out the possibility to be sadie sadie married lady because of my facebook account or some blog that 24 people read? (and by the way, thanks to all of you) i mean, trust me, i have no problem playing the part of fun, drunk party girl (its a rough life, but someone's gotta do it) but then i worry that there will come a time (all too soon) where this lifestyle will seem sad and pathetic. will i still be dancing on bars when i should be having babies and binkys? what is the absolute oldest age you can be and still get away with going out, having fun, and maybe make a few bad decisions? AND because i'm not programmed like those girls.... we all know them.... the "marrying types" the girls that like to stay in and cook, who are really put together, and wear make-up all day or sit around in jeans, and wouldn't dream of wearing sweats to the grocery store-- am i doomed to live alone with cats and become the walking version of my greatest nightmare...the cathy comic. AND remember that one sex and the city where charlotte says she cant be around single dysfuctional girls anymore? she has to surround herself with married people??? i honestly dont know what i would do without my dysfunctional friends. they are the best, the most loyal and loving, and they make me laugh the most. BUT this also brings up additional problems....when is having a tight knit group of girls a problem? we always say this but if i have a night off and could choose one thing to do it would include a bottle(s) of wine, comfy couches, my girls, and lots of trader joes apps. that's all. soooooo this is a problem because in my head i know i should go out and try different things, meet new people, go to church or temple functions or wine tastings or something, but in my heart i KNOW im probably in for a boring awful night, or worse! i'll be sitting across from some awful guy at some awful restaurant WISHING i had just stayed in with pizza and gilmore girls. this is bad. this is very bad. i can't hang around with married couples because it will depress me and make me want to punch them, and i cant be around my single girlfriends because i will get too comfortable with my surroundings and never move on to the next phase in my life. what to do ...what to do...

but the other night, as i was standing (or rather almost passed out on a bench) outside of The Swallows bar, someone said something about being 'marriage material' or a good wife and i turned to my friend jojo -who we all know and love-and i asked him if he thinks i'd be a good wife. and he said i would be the best wife ever. i'm not quite sure in my drunken haze if he was serious or not, but it seemed genuine and for that... this post is dedicated to him. i, too, know that i will make a wonderful wife someday, and hopefully i will find that person who makes it all worth staying in and learning how to cook, someone who will embrace my dysfuctional loveable friends, my sweat pants and my ridiculous updates and blogs. it's a tall order but i'm worth it. if anything else, i can give one hell of a blow job. *again, joking, embellishing....